Sister Mary was teaching her 3rd graders about holidays. She asked the class "What is Easter?"
Little Johnny stood up and said "Oh, Easter is the day that our families gather together at the table, eat turkey, and then watch football".
Sister Mary looks down disappointedly at him and says "No Johnny, that is Thanksgiving, and it's not about turkey and football, it's about thanking God for all of our blessings."
Little Lilly stands up -- "Sister Mary, Easter is the day when Santa Claus brings us toys!".
"No Lilly -- Christmas is the day you are thinking of, and you should know that it is not about commercialism and toys; that is when we celebrate Jesus's birth. Doesn't anyone here know about the importance of Easter?"
Little Joe stands up -- "Easter, which is closely linked to the Jewish Passover, is a commemoration of the sacrifice of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. On Maunday Thursday, we remember the Last Supper. On Good Friday, we think about the fact that he was betrayed by his friend, tried by the Jews, condemned by the Romans, and nailed to a cross, where he died a horrible death. Easter is when we celebrate the fact that 3 days after his execution he arose from the grave..."
Sister Mary's eyes are welling up with tears at the thought that she finally has a student that gets it. She reaches out to Little Joe and hugs him.
Through the hug, he continues "and if he sees his shadow..."
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Friday, November 6, 2009
Jacob Von Hogflume
Borrowd from the Sun newspaper. Apparently, someone went around England putting up funny signs, and this was one fo them.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Oh crap, that was today?
I can't find the original reference for this. Someone name "Regan". I found it via Stumbleupon.
I'll gladly add proper attribution if someone gives it to me -- I'll even ask permission and take it down if it shouldn't be here.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
From the QDB
http://www.qdb.us/118151
(+ware) I rear-ended a car this morning. So there we are alongside the road and
(+ware) slowly the driver gets out of the car . . . and you know how you just get sooo
(+ware) stressed and life seems to get funny?
(+ware) Well, I could NOT believe it . . he was a DWARF! He storms over to my car,
(+ware) looks up at me and says, "I AM NOT HAPPY!"
(+ware) So, I look down at him and say, "Well, which one are you then?"... and
(+ware) THAT'S when the fight started . .
(+ware) I rear-ended a car this morning. So there we are alongside the road and
(+ware) slowly the driver gets out of the car . . . and you know how you just get sooo
(+ware) stressed and life seems to get funny?
(+ware) Well, I could NOT believe it . . he was a DWARF! He storms over to my car,
(+ware) looks up at me and says, "I AM NOT HAPPY!"
(+ware) So, I look down at him and say, "Well, which one are you then?"... and
(+ware) THAT'S when the fight started . .
Seen on ThinkGeek's "Fortune Cookie" stream
http://www.thinkgeek.com/fortune.shtml
So this guy goes to a pet store in Silicon Valley and he needs to get a monkey. He goes up to the sales rep. and asks if he could have a look at their monkeys. So the rep. takes him over to these three cages, goes over to the first one, and inside is a little light brown monkey hopping around making monkey noises.
So the guy goes, "How much is it for this monkey?", to which the rep. replies, $1000. He questions the rep as to why it's so much and the rep. says that this particular monkey is capable of programming in Perl.
Guy moves on to the next cage, similar monkey to the first one, "How much for this monkey?". "That's 2000 dollars, because this monkey can program in Perl, and C++."
The guy decides that this is just way too steep, moves on to the third cage to see if he has any luck over there. Once again, similar monkey, but this time when asked the price, it's $10,000. "Well what can this monkey do?". And the rep. replies, "You know, I haven't seen it do anything but it claims to be a consultant."
So this guy goes to a pet store in Silicon Valley and he needs to get a monkey. He goes up to the sales rep. and asks if he could have a look at their monkeys. So the rep. takes him over to these three cages, goes over to the first one, and inside is a little light brown monkey hopping around making monkey noises.
So the guy goes, "How much is it for this monkey?", to which the rep. replies, $1000. He questions the rep as to why it's so much and the rep. says that this particular monkey is capable of programming in Perl.
Guy moves on to the next cage, similar monkey to the first one, "How much for this monkey?". "That's 2000 dollars, because this monkey can program in Perl, and C++."
The guy decides that this is just way too steep, moves on to the third cage to see if he has any luck over there. Once again, similar monkey, but this time when asked the price, it's $10,000. "Well what can this monkey do?". And the rep. replies, "You know, I haven't seen it do anything but it claims to be a consultant."
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